Nature of the Beast

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Facebook Goodreads Email. From Pg. The Adventures of Huck Finn. Even The Diary of Anne Frank. All banned by people who believed they were in the right. Could we be wrong?

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What is taking a strong stand, and what is violating the rights of others? People I disagree with. People whose opinions I vehemently disagree with and even believe might be dangerous? When is it ok to cross the line between vocally disagreeing, and censoring? This seems like a reasonable and clear definition of the limit of rights. But — we all have different sensitivities. Where something might hurt me, it might not hurt someone else.

And she wondered what demons might be nesting deep inside this man, who specialized in murder. Their conversations about the human condition, about what drives people to do what they do. Their mutual respect, and complete trust. Now people have many chapters to their lives. When I stopped being a therapist I asked myself one question. What do I really want to do? Not for my friends, not for my family.

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Not for perfect strangers. But for me. It was my turn, my time.


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What do I really want? What gives me pleasure. Of parents, of teachers, of neighbours, of the broader society.

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The start of this realization came shortly after I met Michael. We were at the Montreal Symphony, using his season tickets. He was 61 years old at the time, and I was astonished. Then I began questioning my choices, as an adult, and realized how much of it was driven by what others told me I should be doing.

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What do you want? People were almost always killed by someone they knew, and knew well, which compounded the tragedy and was probably why, Gamache thought, so many murder victims did not look frightened.

They looked surprised. Seeing what he sees. Feeling what he feels, or imagining it anyway. What has been his experience? Trying to imagine years and years of investigating murders, investigating people. It was paid at every birthday, every holiday, each Christmas. It was paid when glimpsing the familiar handwriting, or a hat, or a balled-up sock. Or hearing a creak that could have been, should have been, a footstep. Grief took its toll each morning, each evening, every noon hour as those who were left behind struggled forward.

As horrific as that was, there was also some comfort in knowing this pain brought us closer to others. And lived in grief. I was, and am, so lucky on so many levels, including being able to turn that grief into a book. Rather than just writing from the head, I can write from the very core. I recently saw a tee shirt that had a open ended heart on it.


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  7. The love remains. He was only Yes, our grief is surely love unfinished. Amen to that. My adult daughter was an occupational therapist. She was murdered when she stayed late at the school where she worked. Unbelievable even now 19 years later. I have found a way to live on but Carolyn is always wit me in my heart. We all have stories. True words. Love unfinished. Twenty years, still grieving, still loving…until I too am gone. Thanks for your insight. Such eloquence. I love revisiting parts of her books read and loved. I confess…. I highlight and turn corners down on passages I want to revisit.

    They will never leave my shelves anyway and when they do whoever reads them will have a little insight to what the passages that stayed with me. Thank you for your thoughts on the subject of grief, loss, and your deep regard and very obvious love for your dear husband Michael. One I remember vividly was a downed plane in the high mountains of the Adirondacks in NY. We searched constantly for ages. Felt we covered every square inch. Many months later the plane and its victims were found by accident. Right where we had searched. A glint in the sun had alerted the person that found it.

    The woods hide many secrets. Some lovely and magical. Others evil and horrifying.

    But they are my life…. The intricacies of the whodunnit are skillful, yet your attention to the motivation of characters gives us so much more to enjoy! Header Left Sections.

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